I am making this post to make my freaking stand. This may sound like a rant (it probably is) but really, this is just to clear things with myself and to anyone involved.

Let me start with: I never said anything bad about you to anyone who doesn't know the story. I never belittled you to someone who doesn't know you. I never publicly humiliated you. And I never intended to freaking harm you. I never had the reason to do it, nor the need to do it.

I did what I did because that is what I deemed right in response to the violations that are becoming rampant in this fandom. It is not because I hate you, and definitely not because I want to condemn you and your new community. If it is my intention, then I wouldn't have extended my help to you and your team when you needed it. I never would've done almost (and take note: ALMOST) every favor you ask of me. I would have right away deleted all of your SNP files on my mega storage. But no, I never did that didn’t I?

I killed STNR because technically speaking, it is dead. It died the moment you thought you were better than everyone else and couldn't even accept a simple criticism - and a constructive one at that. It died the moment you tried defending what you thought was right without even really checking what was correct and what was incorrect. It died the moment you couldn't accept you were wrong. And it died three times over the moment you abandoned the ship. I was disappointed like shit. You were the captain and you left your passengers hanging, taking only your crew who were supposedly part of the whole team but only ended up as your minions. Yes minions, for they blindly followed you without even having the chance to talk with the others. They only knew things that you fed them. I’m not saying they were all lies, it’s just that, the others were already convicted without even undergoing a proper trial.

We once had a misunderstanding. I talked to you and told you straight out what problems I had with you. And you said we were okay, when in fact, we were not. You continued ranting and saying stuff that were harmful and full of spite just right after we had a talk (again, you might think it is not offending but to others it is). Although you did it after deleting me from your friend list. We continued being friends, albeit honestly, it was awkward and strained. I find it really hard to trust you after that. But I chose to ignore the awkwardness and tried telling you a very important advice: always choose your words when you post anything. I’ve told you a thousand times, but as it turned out, you never took heed. And what happened after that? You have had so many “fights.” Even with people very close to you. Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever, for a moment, stopped and looked at yourself? About why it always happens to you? Not only within the fandom but also irl? Have you? Really? I doubt it. You only see yourself as the victim, NEVER the offender.

I have nothing about your faith. In fact, I find it really pleasant that you love imparting the words of God. Spreading the good news and sharing your love and faith for him. It is very commendable. But I find it funny, you love preaching and yet you never practiced what you preach. What you think you say and do were different from what your actions were showing. Sometimes I just find it… pitiful. Honestly.

And now I regret it. I regret treating you as a friend. I regret accepting you in my home only to be stabbed by you. I regret believing you and trusting you. I regret giving you the benefit of the doubt. I feel so stupid. I blindly put my faith in you only to have it crushed. It’s freaking crazy.

I have learned quite a few things from this. One of which is that, I don’t need too many “friends”. A few that are true and not poisonous are enough. I don’t want to feel like I’ve been used again. And I think, this will be the end of a friendship that has been rocky and shaky right from the start. I’ve had enough.